In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
1.

(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
2. On a bag of Doritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
3. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
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