Slightly Off

That's how my weekend felt, slightly off. Therefore, I'm leaving you with some slightly off insights.

• A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
• What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
• A backward poet writes inverse.
• With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
• The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
• He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
• Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
• When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she' d dye.
• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
• Acupuncture is a jab well done.
• Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.